The Veteran Paradox

Or The Other Side of Service

Last week, I chronicled my personal history with Iran in this article. This week, I find myself in an odd space, though I believe I’ve been in it for a while.

According to popular internet culture, I don’t fit the former SOF-Bro archetype. I’m not a far right wing nationalist and I’m neither fully conservative nor a champagne liberal. I don’t dress in the prescribed Hollywood tacticool aesthetic or champion a specific philosophy or way of thinking. I don’t salivate over firearms or tactics or fitness regimens or subscribe to a particular martial arts discipline.

So begins the paradox. I’m pro-veteran, pro-military service, and anti-war unless it’s for a very good reason, none of which in the post-9/11 era make sense to me save our initial response after the terrorist attack that awful September day. Our preemptive war with Iran doesn’t fit that criteria for me, either.

As one who served multiple times in combat, another part of the veteran paradox is that we’re expected crow the virtue of our overseas ventures the loudest. We’re supposed to endorse war as loyal supporters of the state and one cannot dissent or disagree without being anti-something and least of all unpatriotic. Spare me. My three children all serve in the military in some capacity. One of them deployed on short notice as of this writing. I have plenty of skin in the game.

This paradox is exacerbated by the fact that I loved being a U.S. Marine. I loved serving in SOF. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the adrenaline. It was a job I did nominally well, but now I view my experience through a different lens. I’m not jingoistic nor do I believe our country is right regardless. Some would say I can’t have it both ways.

In the words of one Lebowski, “That’s just, like, your opinion, man.”

The Dude Abides. PC: slashfilm.com

The other side of service is becoming a civic-minded citizen once again. The constant wars of the 21st century plunged this country into more than $39 trillion U.S. in debt. Much of that is military spending, which includes the Veteran’s Administration and my retirement benefits, and this week, masked by the chaos of the Iran war, Congress will likely rubber stamp Trump’s request for a further half-trillion dollar increase to the already enormous $1 trillion U.S. defense budget.

But those who approve these bloated budget allocations don’t ever examine the bigger picture of what much of those funds could be better utilized for, particularly in the interests of their own constituents. Anyone who protests military monetary provisions and fiscal responsibility is shouted down as being anti-America.

I love my country and its ideals, even if I abhor its mismanagement. This goes back to 9/11, however, and is not specific to a single political party. As a country, we’re not being judicious in taking care of all Americans who expect more from their leadership than war. Talk about a double-edged sword. I recognize the hypocrisy here because I benefit from the very system I’m protesting.

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We fought the wars as an all-volunteer force. We continue to do so, and our countrymen are secure in cheering from the sidelines since, well, we knew what we were getting into when we joined. For all of it, what I got was lucky. Lucky to have lived. Lucky to be physically whole. Lucky to live in a country where I can express my opinions, even if these go counter to expected narratives.

And I live with angst. Angst of my benefits being taken with the stroke of a pen. Angst of being punished in retribution for the temerity of having a conscience in expressing my thoughts. Angst of alienation. Plenty of my former colleagues, and dare I say friends, have turned their back on me because of my scribblings.

The true paradox is that I’m a proud military veteran, but I detest our political class who got us and get us into ill-considered forays like the one in which we’re currently embroiled in the National interest of military adventurism. They’ve kept us at war for a quarter century, ones in which I’ve admittedly been a willing participant, lined their pockets, and then reneged on their promises by breaking the compact between the veteran and the people we served.

When they slash veteran benefits while claiming we veterans, and honoring their commitments to us, are too expensive, our politicians simultaneously trot us out as a prop to honor our sacrifice so they didn’t have to serve (a small minority are veterans, I admit). I only wish our entitled, enshittified politicians—spineless, gutless bastards all—paid us service members the same respect we gave the Nation when we made a contract with our lives the day we signed on the dotted line. We’re creating more veterans as we speak and Americans deserve better.

Where’s a veteran’s advocate like Walter Sobchak when you need him?

Calmer Than You Are, Dude. PC: dudjellies.com

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