Thoughtfulness
Or The Bane of a Leader's Existence--If They Care...
When I retired from the Marine Corps, I took the typical path towards being a leadership consultant. However, I was a small fish convinced of his larger importance. In an over-saturated market, I ascertained it was time to look at something else. Best decision I’ve made, but there are days when I wish I was at the top of the leadership industry’s MLM-like pyramid making some real money. But if there is a guy who could benefit from this kind of training it’s our President, Donald Trump.
Honestly, I’ve tried to put myself in his mind, to examine how he views the world through a lens bereft of empathy or thoughtfulness. It’s dizzying. I don’t recommend it. But entertain me for a moment.
I wish I was a glib person without sensitivities. Oh, to be the kind of leader who isn’t bothered by any decision, believes things happen for a reason (and always the right one) regardless of outcome, and to not care about how their choices affect others.
If you are a leader in a small organization this makes you at best insensitive. If you are a leader of say, a country to which the rest of the world has looked for steering for more than 80 years, those traits are catastrophic.
I wish I lacked empathy. How easy it would be to dismiss people’s concerns or feelings. To just look and say, “well, that’s just how it is.” Dismissive is another word for it and it ignites my PTS as I reflect on the bevy of shitty leaders I worked with over the years. Unfortunately, these people overshadow the good ones, but good dudes don’t make for interesting characters. Many of these people go into politics.
Instead, I’m emotional, reflective (brooding, maybe?) and have a high sense of caring for people and a distain for repeating mistakes just because we aren’t better than that.
Our current National leadership doesn’t put thought into anything they say or do. If you like what they say, then you’re a great American. Disagree, you’re an unpatriotic subversive.
Joe Kent discovered this when DJT had the audacity to insult him for remarrying four years after the death of his wife, Shannon, killed by a suicide bomber in Manjib, Syria, in 2019. My friend Marty Skovlund Jr. wrote a wonderful book about her, which is more than will ever be said about ol’ Donny, himself a serial divorcee.
I’m also unfortunately plagued by my conscience. This works for me in many ways, not the least of which is not being a soulless grifter and felon. It also means I consider the impact of what I say to people, and DJT’s recent repulsive statement about the death of Robert Mueller is particularly galling coming from a draft-dodging shitbird still living on daddy’s money.
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What a crock of shit. Fueled by envy and perceived slights, the Donald’s hubris and lack of decency knows no bounds as he insults and belittles anyone he deems disloyal or having accomplished more than him. Unsaddled by remorse, he doesn’t have to show that he cares. It’s perfect for a shallow narcissist always needing to be the center of attention, but what he cannot purchase is that which he despises: Class.
I don’t believe in miracle cures or gurus. I do believe in the power of connection and understanding, something sorely lacking in our society from our National leadership on down (lead by example, or from the front, or some such platitude). To avoid being like Donny you don’t need another self-help book by people who haven’t resolved their own shit like Tony Robbins and the rest of his side-show, carnival street preacher ilk.
People want only two things out of their leadership: 1. To not be treated like a commodity by wasting their time; and 2. To know that their leadership gives a shit about them by acknowledging them with dignity and respect. There. You have all you need to know about being a good leader and you don’t need more bullshit leadership courses to guide you, and certainly not to get you involved in a needless war now on the brink of committing 5,000 troops to ground combat operations.
It helps to think about the consequences of your actions ahead of time, especially if lives depend on it. That is, if you care.
Thanks for sticking with me.
Thanks for the reminder that leadership grounded in empathy, dignity, and respect still matters, especially when honoring those who've served with courage and sacrifice. Even in our divided political and social climate, respectful voices help keep the focus on the values that truly define strength and character. S/f
Imma need to read through this again!